How to “Be a Man,” According to Ron Swanson

'Parks and Recreation''s Ron Swanson knows what it is to truly be a man.

If you looked up the term “man” in the dictionary, we’re almost positive you’d find Ron Swanson’s name as the definition. Between his woodworking, hunting, fishing, and DIY prowess, he has more manly pursuits than a G.I. Joe action figure with John Wayne’s face. He has the diet of a pioneer, the politics of the Tea Party, and the moustache of… well, Ron Swanson. Here’s some wisdom on what it means to be a man… from The Man himself.

"Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons."

"Never half-ass two things. Whole ass one thing."

"Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon."

"Cultivating a manly musk puts opponents on notice."

"Only women shave beneath the neck."

"One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it."

"Handshakes: Firm, Dry, Solid. Three seconds."

"Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating."

"Women like scars. It shows you survived an attack."

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish… and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard."

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *